The title of this post says it all. What it doesn’t say is that it will be updated whenever a new level of gross has been met. NOTE: I don’t really consider all these things gross, just naturally hilarious, like watching a horse poop while it runs.
– He has sneezed in my mouth.
– He has sneezed up my nose, on a plane, and we both had a laughing fit after it.
– He laugh-vomits sometimes. It is pretty awesome.
– Speaking of planes and vomit, he vomited in Elizabeth’s hair on our recent return trip from Onterrible. I tried to clean it out, but I was laughing so hard that all I could do was smear it around.
– He has peed in his own eyes. It makes him angry.
– Our son hasn’t had a ye ole bowel movement in a week which is normal for breastfed babies, but, this makes his farts smell like those of a drunken elderly man who frequents a frontier bathhouse to drink the tub water.
– He looks me in the eyes sometimes when he pees. I think he got this from the dog.
– He tries to put the dog in his mouth. Actually, he gloms everything now a days. Like a starving vampire in a neck factory.
I’m sure I’ve missed something. If any of you other moms and dads have stories, please share in the comments.