Matt & Steve’s Pickled Things

Matt & Steve are pickled think(ing) about their line of Caesars and pickled yummies.

Do you like pickles and pickle-related things? Do you like stuff that tastes good? Are your taste buds minor miracles that you have thousands of secret names for and when they scream with flavour glee do you let out a special giggle? Cool.

Also, you should check out Matt & Steve’s lineup of delicious things. Wait, I know what you are saying. You are saying this sounds like a commercial. But you know what? So does your face. Am I not allowed to actually like things that I’m given samples of? Am I not allowed to enjoy the fact that people send me stuff to review? Am I not allowed to climb every tree in my neighbourhood and yell free tax advice to power lines in an improvised language? Two out of three ain’t bad there Meatloaf.

Nice and hot. The bean is too.

First up, The Extreme Bean, a garlic and dill flavoured pickled bean. It is good, very good. How good? It was the first emptied jar of the batch. Kid liked it, parents liked it, the dog didn’t get a chance to try it. Good times.

Secondly, The Asparagoos. Its mascot is an asparagus goose hybrid, or as I call it, one too many at the farmyard saloon. Another garlic and dill flavour but they still nailed it. Crunchy and yummy. Four green cobra chickens out of five.

Now, we are not done, but this one is my favourite. A simple magic. The Extreme Pickle Spear. Cut the size of pear slices, the garlic and dill trifecta made me self-high five. It only took me four tries to make double hand contact but I didn’t care, I was too busy tongue dancing with the pickle angels.

The first curveball was the sweet and savoury Extreme Bean. This was a surprise as I never would have thought that beans could live in Salt Candy World. But it is. It is so good, that in Salt Candy World, this bean was given a vegetable fiefdom and this majestic bean was fair and gentle ruler. And, it let you eat it. Eight random fiefdom references out of ten.

Finally, the hot and spicy Extreme Bean. I was prepared for pain. You know, like when you finally tell your beekeeper what you really think of them. But no, it was the perfect hot. Like the type of hot where you can taste the flavour of the thing through the heat. The gracious crunch was combined with a full pallet glow. I had two just in case the first one was a liar. No, it was not lying your Honour. 

My wife was the Extreme Bean Caesar tester. I was going to get Elizabeth to answer a series of silly questions but this direct quote from here checks that box, “It was yummy. It was delicious. I’ve been gladly telling the children that it was disgusting so they wouldn’t steal any. I like that the can was bigger, it was nice to have one and a quarter glasses. My face has a spicy tingle to it. And even though our children are losing their minds, I still feel good about the world. I’m going to buy some for my parents,” the jubilant thirster said.

If that isn’t a five-star Michelin review I don’t know what is and for the sake of argument I don’t.

If you are interested in learning more about Matt & Steve’s click the link and tell them Trent’s tongue sent you. No, actually don’t. They’ll call the cops again. But this time, for real.

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