I put the class in wizard class synthetic user interface

The Undad

s3

I’ve been assured by friends and family that one can swear on a daddy blog. It was really my only stipulation for starting one.1

I’ll be starting my paternity leave this week. That is 33 weeks of raising a little human. I’m looking forward to it. Just like you look forward to horror movies. I’m not being facetious.2

Being a writer by trade this seems an easy3 transition. I’ve been a writer for close to 20 years, the last few spent as a journalist and editor. Also, my wife wants me to keep creatively busy and doesn’t want me losing my mind. Whatever part of it I haven’t already lost. She constantly jokes that I was dropped on my head as a child but I’m pretty sure that during a recent visit with my parents my mother took her aside and said, “Oh we dropped him as a child, a lot. Dropped the crap out of him. Right on that part of the head that protects the smart part of the brain.” My wife denies this ever took place.4

Truth be told, I never wanted to be a father. Not really. That was up until I met my wife, Elizabeth. Then things just got all natural n’ shit. She opened up my eyes to a world of love, compassion and other types of silly crap.5

I’m not sure what will come of this. My little hoser, a three-month-old boy, is a wonder. Being adopted, I’ve never had this type of connection. I’m sure I’ll get into that later.

I called this site The Undad for several reasons. One, Dad or Alive was already taken. Dadwood just sounded a bit too pervy (well, just the right amount of pervy). And, Colour me Dad was just too fucking stupid. Plus I do like horror movies. And canoes. And reality. So, The Undad, a man who never really wanted to become a dad, but is totally elbow deep into it now (and thoroughly loving it) is a nod to the dead becoming the living but still being a bit of a weirdo. What?

There, first post done. Now I’m going to go do a whole bunch of cocaine, and by cocaine, I mean laundry.6

Regards,

Trent

Editor’s notes:

1 Trent has also been reassured by his wife, me, Elizabeth, that he can say anything – anything – he wants on this 33 week journey.  I’m going to live to regret that. It may have been in a drunken stupor that I agreed to such a thing. I mean sleep deprived state oblivious to any sense of reality. Oh, you’re right, that correction was redundant. Drunken stupor – Sleep deprivation – same same.  Trent has asked me to review his posts and add to them as I please, this will be something he will likely regret.

2 This means nothing to me Trent. Taking care of Valdy is the most wonderful, amazing, terrific, exhausting, heartbreakingly satisfying thing I have ever done. Horror movies are the thing I’ve tried my hardest to avoid throughout my life.  After a few bad experiences with Encounters of a Third Kind, Psycho, and Leprechaun 1 through 3 at slumber parties, I cannot imagine anything more horrid than looking forward to a horror movie.

3 Trent has clarified to me that the easy transition was to writing a blog. Initially I read this as the transition to stay at home dad, and I laughed a caustically evil laugh that radiated throughout out our tiny home, and caused a minor energy disruption on the Richter magnitude scale.

4 She didn’t use the word crap Trent.

5 I love you too.

6 Thank you for folding the mountain of clean laundry I left on the bed throughout the day.  Please note.  Doing the laundry involves putting the dirty clothes into the washer, adding soap and turning the washing machine on.  After some time has elapsed doing laundry then involves moving some of the laundry to the dryer, turning it on, and hanging up the remaining wet laundry in a careful fashion.  Folding already washed laundry would probably refer to folding laundry.

1 Response »

  1. Funny! Good writing! The Grammar Nazi in me is impressed. (This is my nickname; I am, ironically, also Jewish … hmmm)
    @Elizabeth: Your husband is right! You are terrific! Thanks for letting me into your world through this blog! 🙂

Leave a Reply

@TheUnDad

RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Best of The UnDad Podcast
    Sorta. I lost some episodes. I collected as most as I could. This is a month in the making. Much love to all and more coming regularly. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and […]
  • Santa is the best
    In this edition, I read a short Christmas story I wrote last year for Apocalypse Kow's awesome annual Christmas show. Also, I recorded a performance of myself during Booty Goose's 'Weird Al Karaoke', where one takes a popular song and changes the lyrics. I wrote a filthy version of 'Its Beginning to Look a Lot […]
  • Don't mess with Noreen
    In this episode I talk with Nicola Doherty of the Alberta Mamas (albertamamas.com) about the East Coast, spoon collections, child-sized weaponry, and tattooing dolphins. I'm not kidding. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and […]
  • Did they make the right choice?
    In this episode I chat with former NHLer and current radio host Jason Strudwick. We cover topics ranging from adoption, hockey, parenthood, poetry, and a hypothetical room full of cocaine. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the […]
  • The Questioneer
    In this episode, Trent answers the many, many questions that his rabid fanbase* sent in to him. Some of them are funny, some sincere, and some are about corn nuts. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the […]
  • No biting
    This bad boy goes off the rails in all the best ways possible. I chat with the hilariously enabling Christine Bruckmann about the new Alberta Museum, legalized marijuana, how much I hate lentils, being a crazy parent, and dealing with hate when blogging. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast […]
  • Julie Rohr Part 2
    In no specific order: Julie and I talk about the 'D' word, journalism, connecting to people you can't connect to, understanding, being brought up religious, giving yourself grace, and even though you have cancer you still have to be a parent. This conclusion of the two-parter is a doozie. This episode is powered by ATB […]
  • Julie Rohr Part 1
    If you don't know who Julie Rohr is you are truly missing out. Currently battling a rare form of cancer, Jules is defined by her infectious smile, her love of life, and her all around resplendent radness. Just listen and find out what I mean. Part 2 coming out next week. This episode is powered […]
  • The good Witch of the true North
    I catch up with Lindsey McNeill about what it is like to be adopted as an adult, how her and her mom are writing a book about the experience, and what it is like to be a screenwriter, producer, witch, and tarot card reader (and then she reads my tarot cards). This episode is powered […]
  • I moved back
    In this episode I catch up with Antonio Bavaro (alter drag ego Connie Lingua) and chat about Montreal, excessive nostalgia, family influence, and his newest endeavour that will spotlight the Edmonton queer and trans community. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the […]

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 42 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: