My son is a bit of a babbler. Noises leap from his face in an archaic and somewhat growing form of communication. He’ll make some sounds, stop as if to await my reaction, then do a whole slew more. This is how we talk.

I’ve been trying to promote this as I think he is on to something. The words aren’t there but the effort is. So, as he blabbers on about something I’ll say, “Oh yeah” or “That’s neat” or “I agree, mommy is weird”.¹

Here is an example:

Baby – Blah gloogle blagger pfffststs derg.

Me – I think you are a bit too young for that.

Baby – Snerpslge flooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhsh merd.

Me – Because you have to be 18 in order to get a pilot’s license. I think anyway.

Baby – Hfffffgergle

Me – Why would you want to fly a helicopter anyway?

Baby – Clefteregglemrrz glogorborgle snerzle glicknick.

Me – Attack which consulate?

Baby – Dertglerb verfk snizzle

Me – But what about the villagers?

Baby – Klorg glabber slinkle

Me – Don’t take that tone with me young man!²

And then I tell his mother on him and call a family meeting as to how long his punishment shall last.

We have yet to have that family meeting.³

Sincerely,

Trent

Editor’s notes:

¹  I have the “I agree, Mommy is weird” with him daily, except insert Daddy in for Mommy.

² He has such creative conversations with you.  Mostly he spends time explaining to me why he should be allowed to yell in Safeway, why he is in fact the centre of the universe, how the world does revolve around him, and how it is pretty hilarious that Daddy refers to me as a food truck.

³ I think at some point we realize we have turned into our parents.  It is quite obvious to me from this conversation that Valdy is now you Trent. I am pretty sure you have asked me many of these same questions, repeatedly since we met, although my answers have differed based on how busy I am or my level of exhaustion.  If any family meeting is to be held, perhaps it should be one to discuss how Mommy is going to survive TWO helicopter flying, consulate attacking, weirdos? Perhaps someone should contact my Ombudsman. Oh, wait, that’s your line.  Perhaps Trent, being Trent is contagious?