Dear Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer,
I can make you the next Prime Minister of Canada if you take my advice.
Here is my pitch:
What you have to do is call for a press conference, let the press know that you are going to cover a broad spectrum of topics. You are going to talk about what Canada means to you, and what you think you can offer this great nation as Prime Minister.
Then, right before you take the podium, smoke a joint. Then get behind the mic and let it flow brother.
Hear me out.
Now, I’m sure you’ve been on beer before. You have done alcohol. Probably even suffered through a debilitation hangover. And all in a very legal manner.
Beer is the every-man’s drink. It connects people. After prohibition, drinking became a reward, a goal, and wholly acceptable by the populous.
And now, so is marijuana.
Marijuana is the great leveler as it knows no political affiliation. It makes you want to grab your guitar and sing about love. You should figuratively do that in your presser. Let everyone know how you feel about stuff. Get it out there dude. Tell them about what scares you and why. Tell them about your favourite music. Your favourite early childhood memory. Your favourite animals and their special skills.
Sure some people may mock you, but that was going to happen anyway. And man, those people are squares anyway dude.
Blaze a trail with some blunt force trauma…of honesty. And, don’t be afraid to improvise some poetry if people are not digging your vibe. Poetry brings people onside.
Above all, be yourself. Yourself, but super high.
Contact info can be found on my ‘Hire Me’ page. Let me know if you have any questions.
Trent James Wilkie