Winner of VUE Weekly's 2017 and 2018 'Best Family Blog' and 2018 'Best Podcast'

My son may have ‘Alex Jones Syndrome’

alex-jones

The man, the syndrome.

It was a normal morning. I was making my kids breakfast. The usual:

Yogurt, toast, raisin bran, mandarin orange and/or a banana. Water or milk to drink. The usual.

While doing this, I like to catch up on my world news. We use the Google Home for such a thing. Every morning I ask it to tell me about my day. It does. And it, then, to the news. That was when it happened.

My son spoke, and spoke thusly: “Daddy, the green water is making the trees naked.”

I stopped to process this. He has full use of the English language, he knows what most words mean. So, he wasn’t speaking gibberish. But, what he thinking gibberish? I asked him what he meant?

He repeated himself, and while he was doing this, it dawned on me.

The news cast was talking about an algae growth in a river somewhere in the US. Then the next story was about fall being upon is, thus the leaves are falling. It was there that the two completely unrelated facts, mashed them together in his head to fit some form of a self generated narrative, and told me what he thought. It was the green water that was making the trees naked. My heart did a double take. Was this a symptom of ‘Alex Jones Syndrome’?

He continued as the morning went on.

“What you are listening to is bad because it is about giving kids guns. Yeah.”

Reality: There was a competitive Nerf competition for kids. All proceeds went towards a sick child’s family.

“We don’t live on the earth.”

Reality: He asked what our address was, I told him we live in Edmonton.

“It’s not morning because it is still dark out.”

Reality: The blinds were closed.

“You aren’t the boss, I’m the boss!”

Reality: I told him I was the boss.

As one can clearly see, my son’s perception of reality is skewed to solely benefit himself. He will change facts to fit his perspective. He will with take two truths, melt them down to their basics, take them out of context, and reform them to support his world view. Just like Alex Jones.

So like any normal parent when faced with a supposed medical issue, I Googled it.

Turned out, everything is fine. My child is just doing what healthy four-year-olds do. He is expressing his critical thinking. This is helping him form his own decisions. He is evaluating information to determine whether it is right or wrong.  Ostensibly, he is being open-minded and considering alternative ways of looking at information. He is emulating what it is like to be an individual, an adaptable adult.

So, while my son may have symptoms of ‘Alex Jones Syndrome’, these are just growth marks on the evolution of his psyche.

He won’t stay a child in this regard. Unlike Alex Jones, who will always be an emotional and intellectual toddler.

If you liked this silly gibberish you could buy me a coffee. If you are looking for more ridiculousness you could visit my podcast. If you have any questions, you could leave them in the comments. Or subscribe or not. Or whatever. Good job!

 

 

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