Winner of VUE Weekly's 2017 and 2018 'Best Family Blog' and 2018 'Best Podcast'

As per request: Stuff my toddler said

Preface

My toddler is a three-year-old boy. He is ‘chatty’.

Introduction

After a recent poll, this is the post topic decided by thine:

poll

I would like to preface this that my son usually speaks with an intensity that is amplified by hand gestures that can only be described as gregarious yet necessary. I will break up his statements into the topics in which his thoughts fall.

Food

“Daddy, the way that pancakes work is that you put them in your face. You put them right in it.”

“Daddy, when I drink water, it goes down my stomach and into my toes then out my penis.”

When asked how he felt about the day: “Cheerios”.

“I ate too much apple slices and now my knee hurts and my foot hurts. That’s ridiculous.”

Media

“I know you think Paw Patrol is stupid, but I want to watch it anyway Daddy.”

“Dory should just write things down like Mommy.”

In reference to Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2: “When the guys get in the suits,

200_s

Property of Dreamworks. I think.

they are bad. Then, when they leave them, they are good. They are good because they can’t-do the bad stuff that the suits help them do because they can’t-do it without the suits. But the strawberry was good and is good in the suit.”

 

Everyday-isms

While hanging out with Elizabeth while she is showering: “I can’t stay here, I am late for work.”

“Daddy, when you are mad at someone and you are driving say, ‘Bucket full of water’. No, say, ‘Bucket full of water. No. No. NO. Don’t!’. Ok Daddy? Now practice it. Good job Daddy.”

“Daddy, we are all carbon-based life-forms.”

“I’m going to go ask that girl if I can tell her she is pretty.”

“The world was ending and then it wasn’t.”

“Don’t talk to me I’m pooping.”

There will most likely be a sequel to this…

IMG_20171001_155632_856

 

 

 

 

 

«

Leave a Reply

@TheUnDad

RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Zoloft
    This is a step in the right direction.  This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and production help. Thanks to Caitlynn Legris for her recording and vocal talents for the new intro intro. Also, many […]
  • Ghosts Jason Kenney
    Many moons ago, I sent out a weird messenger request to several friends. It was about ghosts. Well, today, the answers of Scott McGovern, Sam Varteniuk, and Angela Seehagen are brought to life...about ghosts! Also, I've added some Jason Kenney poems.  This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank […]
  • Children's book reviews
    I do a lot of reading to my kids so I thought I'd go over some of my favourites (and least favourites) of out kid lit library. There is a little Sandra Boynton, Dr. Seuss, Moby Dick, Paw Patrol, and Beatrix Potter (with some others mingled in for taste). Main picture is from 'The Three […]
  • Question and Answer
    In this episode I answer questions about dreams, smells, hell, tell a tale about a really good stabber. All those who asked got answered. Take a listen! This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network.  Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and production help. Thanks to […]
  • Grimpen and Friends
    This was fun! I got to play video games with a moon being (Grimpen) and his friend (Chris Nelson) and I wasn't murdered nor was I consumed for nourishment by a moon being (Grimpen). Come, listen to us play a video game (Red Dead Redemption), or don't! Here is the long description of just what […]
  • MAGApause
    This is a fun little episode I threw together after the family had a fun little nugget of food poisoning. Great times! Thanks to Jana O'Connor, Lou Casemore, and Samara Von Rad for their editorial input on the title bit. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you […]
  • A Centurion
    This was a gas. Thanks to Andred (It's a Conspiracy), Quinn (Learning to Listen), Rylan (History of Punk), Dan (Northern Nerd), and John from Fionn MacCool's (Mayfield) for the awesome. It takes a village in this episode that comes complete with a cautionary drinking game. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the […]
  • The Bryan Baeumler experience
    Bryan Baeumler will be spitting truth at the Edmonton Renovation Show this January 25-27 (@yeghomeshows). In this episode he shares some special insights into why he is how is, how he does what he does, and why chasing eels on the shore of the Sydney River makes a person who they are (@hgtvcanada). For the […]
  • The Jenerator
    I don't know how or why I've been this lucky...but maybe I do. Anyway. Jenny Adams is solid people. Even though she does not understand the existential architecture of the Snuggle Dungeon, she will always be welcomed in it.  This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to […]
  • Best of The UnDad Podcast
    Sorta. I lost some episodes. I collected as most as I could. This is a month in the making. Much love to all and more coming regularly. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and […]

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 42 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: