Winner of VUE Weekly's 2017 and 2018 'Best Family Blog' and 2018 'Best Podcast'

The Star Spangled Banner is just a series of confused questions.

FLGIMGS1000000491_-00_Star-Spangled-Banner-Picture-Downloadable-Image_3

Say, can you see?

See what? What are you yelling about?

By the dawn’s early light?

It’s dim out. It is dim. WTF and I supposed to see in the dim there yeller?

What so proudly we hailed?

Agreed. What, did you hail? And why proudly if you couldn’t see it? Blind patriotism?

At the twilight’s last gleaming?

Oh, it will gleam again. This is a nefarious supposition.

Whose broad stripes and bright stars?

Not yours. You can’t even see them. Dim and bright? Flip a coin champ.

Through the perilous fight?

Holy shit, now you are fighting? Is this a ‘kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight’ thing? I’m calling Bruce Cockburn with some trademark infringement.

O’er the ramparts we watched?

Yeah. Watch the fight. That is so very gallant.

Were so gallantly, yeah, streaming?

I just said that? You are the douches who pull out your phones and scream WORLD STAR when punches are thrown. Yeah. So gallantly.

And the rockets’ red glare?

The glare from the Rocket is from PEDs and we all know that you fakers.

The bombs bursting in air?

Looks like someone made some shitty bombs. Aren’t they supposed to explode ON THEIR TARGETS?

Gave proof through the night?

Oh, I get it, this was a selfie.

That our flag was still there?

Of course, it was. Because NOTHING WAS HAPPENING (#fakenews)

O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave?

Yes, it does. Yet, it does not do so in a respected manner.

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Free yes, brave…it doesn’t take bravery to lie about everything.

Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

@TheUnDad

RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Zoloft
    This is a step in the right direction.  This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and production help. Thanks to Caitlynn Legris for her recording and vocal talents for the new intro intro. Also, many […]
  • Ghosts Jason Kenney
    Many moons ago, I sent out a weird messenger request to several friends. It was about ghosts. Well, today, the answers of Scott McGovern, Sam Varteniuk, and Angela Seehagen are brought to life...about ghosts! Also, I've added some Jason Kenney poems.  This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank […]
  • Children's book reviews
    I do a lot of reading to my kids so I thought I'd go over some of my favourites (and least favourites) of out kid lit library. There is a little Sandra Boynton, Dr. Seuss, Moby Dick, Paw Patrol, and Beatrix Potter (with some others mingled in for taste). Main picture is from 'The Three […]
  • Question and Answer
    In this episode I answer questions about dreams, smells, hell, tell a tale about a really good stabber. All those who asked got answered. Take a listen! This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network.  Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and production help. Thanks to […]
  • Grimpen and Friends
    This was fun! I got to play video games with a moon being (Grimpen) and his friend (Chris Nelson) and I wasn't murdered nor was I consumed for nourishment by a moon being (Grimpen). Come, listen to us play a video game (Red Dead Redemption), or don't! Here is the long description of just what […]
  • MAGApause
    This is a fun little episode I threw together after the family had a fun little nugget of food poisoning. Great times! Thanks to Jana O'Connor, Lou Casemore, and Samara Von Rad for their editorial input on the title bit. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you […]
  • A Centurion
    This was a gas. Thanks to Andred (It's a Conspiracy), Quinn (Learning to Listen), Rylan (History of Punk), Dan (Northern Nerd), and John from Fionn MacCool's (Mayfield) for the awesome. It takes a village in this episode that comes complete with a cautionary drinking game. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the […]
  • The Bryan Baeumler experience
    Bryan Baeumler will be spitting truth at the Edmonton Renovation Show this January 25-27 (@yeghomeshows). In this episode he shares some special insights into why he is how is, how he does what he does, and why chasing eels on the shore of the Sydney River makes a person who they are (@hgtvcanada). For the […]
  • The Jenerator
    I don't know how or why I've been this lucky...but maybe I do. Anyway. Jenny Adams is solid people. Even though she does not understand the existential architecture of the Snuggle Dungeon, she will always be welcomed in it.  This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to […]
  • Best of The UnDad Podcast
    Sorta. I lost some episodes. I collected as most as I could. This is a month in the making. Much love to all and more coming regularly. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and […]

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 42 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: