I put the class in wizard class synthetic user interface

Sabbatical Star Galactica



Ho. Lee. Shit. Where do I start?

So, we had another bit of magic. On Oct. 25. A girl. Brytallique Arguebarn Firehazard Wilkie. Named after my imaginary childhood ombudswoman.


Srsly though, srsly. Calm down guys.

Elizabeth cooked another beauty. The babe (Whom we will call Beth (After MacBeth, the Scottish play that shall not be named)) is wonderful and glorious. 9 lbs 4 ozs of cat-like yelping and opulence.

If she were a ham, which the doctors repeatedly assured me she is not, she would be worth $80.00 going by current Alberta meat prices.

This is how it went down.

The birth of my daughter, poem form:

Roses are red

Violets are not corn

“Why aren’t you giving me anything for the pain?!?”

A baby is born.

See, Elizabeth was too far into labour to get the epidural, so she had to champ it out. And she did. Like a champ.

Really, it all happened so fast. There were contractions, then were was vomit, then I was driving down the Anthony Henday at 150kmh, then we were in the hospital, then there was a lot… a lot… of yelling, then there was baby.

I remember making a joke with the doctors during the birth. They said that Elizabeth should use her anger to push, stop yelling, and use it to push. Then I said if it was cool with her, I was going to head over to my friend Matt’s and hang out with him and drink beer. She says she doesn’t remember me saying this, but Beth was born several minutes later.

Also, I remember a terse moment with the doctor about wether or not I was going to be able to keep the scissors that I cut Beth’s umbilical (twice, ask me about it) with.

Sadly, I did not.

More to come.

Thank you for keeping with me.


Tagged as: , , , ,

2 Responses »

  1. That’s a shame about the scissors. We have 2 pairs. 2 hats. 2 dried up cords on clamps (from when they fell off the boys)

    Congrats on a happy and healthy birth.

    Little family.

  2. your favourite word is opulence.
    i know this.
    your favourite son is valdy.
    your favourite daughter is mcbeth.
    i also know this.

    you have TWO KIDS and you’re so witty, how lucky are you?

    congrats on the shiny new ham.

Leave a Reply


RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Julie Rohr Part 2
    In no specific order: Julie and I talk about the 'D' word, journalism, connecting to people you can't connect to, understanding, being brought up religious, giving yourself grace, and even though you have cancer you still have to be a parent. This conclusion of the two-parter is a doozie. This episode is powered by ATB […]
  • Julie Rohr Part 1
    If you don't know who Julie Rohr is you are truly missing out. Currently battling a rare form of cancer, Jules is defined by her infectious smile, her love of life, and her all around resplendent radness. Just listen and find out what I mean. Part 2 coming out next week. This episode is powered […]
  • The good Witch of the true North
    I catch up with Lindsey McNeill about what it is like to be adopted as an adult, how her and her mom are writing a book about the experience, and what it is like to be a screenwriter, producer, witch, and tarot card reader (and then she reads my tarot cards). This episode is powered […]
  • I moved back
    In this episode I catch up with Antonio Bavaro (alter drag ego Connie Lingua) and chat about Montreal, excessive nostalgia, family influence, and his newest endeavour that will spotlight the Edmonton queer and trans community. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the […]
  • Both of those masters are served
    In this episode I interview Dave Bidini about his new book 'Midnight Light' and all things artistic and important. Stay tuned after the credits for a bonus interview. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space […]
  • What if people want to bring their own dogs?
    In this episode, I speak with Ainsley Hillyard and Jezebel about sharing the stage, pooping on stage, their sci fi show 'Jezebel, at the Still Point', how to extrapolate your verteron exit vector, and the deep and tangible love that people have for their pets.
  • Know what I mean jelly bean?
    In this one, I talk to myself about the upcoming changes to the UnDad podcast. I talk Metro Shorts, Metro Cinema, Edmonton Comedy Festival, Up Late With Dana Andersen, Dave Bidini, Litfest, Hold the Dark, New Girl, F&M, and these silly things humans call emotions. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the […]
  • It's like nothing else
    Elizabeth Wilkie is not only my mechanic, she is my wife. Join us as we talk about our worries for the future, the past, and the future past. With a special cameo from Little Hell. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the […]
  • Thus far in review with producer Andrew Paul
    Having Andrew Paul as a producer is like having a wizard/scientist friend that, no matter how under the influence you are, supports your crazy ideas and helps bring them to life. So, yeah, of course I was going to pick his brain. Jesus. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast […]
  • Never use it as an excuse
    Mr. Owen Brierley is a delight to talk to. Join us as we chat about what it is like growing up being legally deaf, what a lawnmower parent is, and how everyone should have their own personal version of 'It's All Gone Pete Tong'. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta […]

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 42 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: