Trying to make sense of being a father, husband and a malcontent

Got my hair did

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BEHOLD: Before.

Since my wife and I had a child, there are a few things I’ve had to give up:

I’ve had to give up eating a meal without being screamed at in gibberish.

I’ve had to give up watching a movie without having my genitals bitten (it’s a long story).

I’ve had to give up going to the washroom without being heckled.

Also, I’ve had to give up a good 70% of my ideals. Most of them having to do with artistic integrity.,

Another thing lost in the void is my personal hygiene.

Ok, I still brush my teeth and can occasionally sneak in a shower before Little Hell cataclysms the house, but I haven’t been able to get my hair cut for a while.

My hair, which my wife openly proclaims makes me look homeless, has always been something of an afterthought in my life. I call it ‘frontier bath house’ chic she calls it ‘something died in an old tire’ chic.

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Kari made me beautiful. And she cut my hair real good.

There were times back in my heyday when I would cut my own hair as I bathed in streams. I didn’t have access to laundry facilities, so I’d just wear all my clothes into the lake and cover myself in biodegradable soap. Anyway, it was simpler then. I was simpler.

Things are different now.

Then I was contacted by Pamper and Play.

They said they would cut my hair and keep my kid alive, and so I jumped at the chance. I didn’t need anything fancy. I didn’t need much at all. Just a guarantee that nobody would cut my ear off (true story) and that my son wouldn’t end up with any new scars.

My wife and some of her workmates thought it funny at first. Me, going to a fancy place to get my hair did. Will I discover my inner metro sexual? Will I get frosted tips? Will I get a spiderweb shaved into the side of my skull?

I kept it simple stupid. I just got a haircut. I could have had a massage. I could have even had had a pedicure or a hot shave, but I didn’t. Next time maybe…

I got some really good green tea, a nice chocolate treat and some great hand cream that I was warned not to eat. And it was nice to know that while I was focused on myself for 40 minutes, the Bean was elsewhere with others having fun.

There aren’t a lot of these businesses.

As a side note, I was asked to go on Dinner Television as part of a parenting panel later that day. As I walked towards the set I met my other panelists. Lo and behold Natasha Chiam and I had similar haircuts, just at different angles. I’d love to show you actual footage of the panel but for some reason our bit is the only video on the Dinner Television site that isn’t working. Let me assure you, Eudemus would offer us high fives.

I love my station in life, but every once in a while I want to pretend like I only need to care about about myself.

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1 Response »

  1. frosted tits!

    Like

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