Winner of – Best Family Blog – from VUE Weekly 2017

Too rad for mom and dad


Pre-swim high kicks

Forward: The title of this story has nothing to do with this story.

Preface: The forward of this story doesn’t have anything to do with this story.

Introduction: The information contained within this story is true. Any likeness to those living or dead is on purpose. Any similarities to real life occurrences is done on purpose. Any subsequent swearing or fart jokes are completely consequential.

Body: The other day, whilst swimming with my son at the Clareview Recreation Complex in lovely east-end Edmonton, a woman swam up to me in the pool. She said to me directly, “What are you doing here?”. My response was to look at my son, look at the water around me, look back and her and think, “Attacking the Consulate”, but actually say, “Swimming with this rad little dude.”

She apologized and explained herself. You see, she wanted to know what I, a strong and handsome male (not actually her words) was doing in the afternoon in a pool full of mothers/women. I told her that I’m the day parent for this wily bundle of awesome (my child). She then commended me for it and we chatted for a bit. She let me know how she supported my decision and how it must be what God wanted because there I was, doing it. She said I was blessed and that I shouldn’t let my son get tattoos. She said my wife and I should be very strong to allow this to happen.

In situations like these, I’m never sure how to react. I’m not really doing anything super special. I’m loving the bejezus out of my kid. I’m trying to do the best for my family. My wife has an awesome job. I’m not a frigging hero, nor am I doing anything new. I guess in Alberta, being at home with the child and being male is new. Maybe? I know of a few stay at home dads.

With that said, my wife is getting her fair share of guff/sass as well. Some are looking at her and thinking how dare she neglect her family and be working. How dare she give up her duties as a wife and mother. To this I say, “What the glorious fuck?”.1

Those that spray their ideologies on others who are attempting to make their lives better in a healthy way are troglodyte nitwits. I hope they get a severe case of the farts and have to drive, nonstop, across Canada with their peers.

We are a family. Our dynamics are slightly different than the norm. We are not trail blazers or heroes or anything like that. We are just playing our cards as best we can. It’s simple really. To dissect is at an affront to what a family ‘should’ be is an insult to intelligence.

Epilogue: Bored people create drama in their lives. When their lives are full of drama, they look to others to create more. I just wish that stupidity was painful.2

Editor’s Note:

1 It’s true. The questions/comments I find most challenging are as follows: “Don’t you love your son?” “Why would you chose work?” “Isn’t your husband willing to support you?” “Doesn’t your husband have a job?” “Don’t you care about what your giving up?” “Aren’t you willing to fight to not miss out?”

Gee, thanks for your input. I married an artist. A wonderfully creative artist. He supports our family with love and fantastical ideas. He’s willing to sacrifice his insatiable need to interact with everyone and everything to be at home with a little dude that cannot even talk yet. He’s learning how to vacuum the carpet (sort of). He’s learning how to grocery shop (sort of). He’s learning how to clean the kitchen (sort of). He’s learning how to organize the tupperware drawer (no seriously, he does this now, it’s amaze-balls). I happen to be the primary income winner in our family. Yes, I’d love to be at home teaching the little one how to sit up, feeding him mashed up sweet potato, and giving him 50,000 kisses before we hit 2 pm each day, but that’s not an option. If the roles were reversed I would want to stay home. No one would be asking my husband the same questions I get. No one would be questioning my husband’s commitment to our son. How dare you for thinking I’m a bad mother because I go to work each day. Also, I love my husband, but stop raising him on a pedestal as a virtuoso superhero for staying at home — unless of course you are stopping each and every stay at home mom and saying the same thing to them.

2 No, you don’t. Otherwise, we’d all be fairly reliant on pain killers. How about ignorance? Maybe you should wish ignorance was painful?

1 Response »

  1. Amazing the things people say. I’ve heard plenty of stupidity too, and I’m not outside the norm at all, we both work and kids are in daycare – “why have kids if someone else is going to raise, them, wouldn’t you rather be at home, they’re only young once, I guess you have different priorities (e.g. wrong ones)” etc. The one about other people raising them drives me insane. Once your kids are in school, are their teachers raising them?

    Anyway this was funny and I think a lot of dads relate to being put on a weird pedestal for doing totally normal parenting tasks.

Leave a Reply


RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Never use it as an excuse
    Mr. Owen Brierley is a delight to talk to. Join us as we chat about what it is like growing up being legally deaf, what a lawnmower parent is, and how everyone should have their own personal version of 'It's All Gone Pete Tong'. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta […]
  • I have a ghost in my head and I call it Garglemax
    I got an implant that connects to a wizard class synthetic user interface. It's like 'Alexa' that only I can hear. It's for science. Everything is fine.
  • Who would win in a fight, Mr. Rogers or Jesus?
    Scott C. Bourgeois and I talk about our respective adoptions, what part of your body you should eat first if you were trapped on an island, all the effing podcasts he is involved with, and the best of kid lit.
  • Jana O'Connor PT 2
    The second of two parts of our Jana O'Connor interview (please listen to the first one if you already haven't). To get to the point: Jana is a jewel in the crown of the Canadian arts scene. She is triple H (not the goddamn wrestler): humble, humorous, and ensconced with humanity. We talk about working […]
  • Jana O'Connor PT 1
    As the Etruscans put it, this one was a doozy. Join me and Jana O'Connor as we cover everything from antiquated idioms to how to butt in line at the dentist (and everything in between). We talked so long that I had to cut it in two. I had to cut it in two because […]
  • I think the Jedi have it all wrong
    There is some rampant nerdery as Darren Pleavin and I talk horror movies, horror feelings, invisible motorcycles, family horror, and some scary stuff that left us holding each other, cerebrally. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the […]
  • His Dumbledore is Shit
    Garglemax handles the heavy lifting while I talk shop with Dave Breakenridge, the Managing Editor of the Edmonton Journal, Edmonton Sun, and Edmonton Examiner. Topics covered: Helicopter parents, swearing, ADHD, Harry Potter readings in character, the 10/3 Podcast, columnists as journalists, and where not to get a tattoo.
  • I'm still doing comedy
    Ken Valgardson answers the phone for a content over audio quality interview. We chat comedy, teaching, parenting, and child bowels. It truly is a magical time to be alive. Powered by ATB and the Alberta Podcast Network with help from the Edmonton Community Foundation.
  • We're heroes
    A rousing conversation with Elena Porter where we talk about being an actor and parent, the great Arlington Apartment fire of 2005, murder, and buying a horse. Powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network.
  • Porch Fire
    Laughter, a short Western novella, and Elizabeth does her best to tell the future while translating 'baby'.

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 39 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: