I put the class in wizard class synthetic user interface

If we had a girl I’d end up in jail

love

If Elizabeth and I ended up having an awesome little girl, instead of an awesome little boy, I’m pretty sure that eventually I would  have ended up in jail.

Let me explain.

In April of 2014, the CBC reported on a study which stated that Edmonton is the worst place in Canada to be a woman. Citing wages, domestic violence and political representation, it paints a pretty bleak picture of the city I call home. None of these would have been the catalyst to my prior statement though.

Several years ago I read a quote on Facebook (which I will attribute to Kelta Coomber but am not 100% sure) which stated, after a series of sexual attacks on women in the river valley that, “Police want us to get out of the river valley so that we don’t get sexually assaulted, and prefer us to walk down Whyte Ave. where we will be sexually harassed.”

Guts Magazine takes the above story from the CBC  a poignant step further.

I would not be able to handle anything happening to my daughter, or my wife, in such a manner. Would I be able to handle it if something happened to my son? Fuck no, but most sexual harassment and assaults don’t happen against men. I’m playing the odds here people. I’m playing the reality. Most women I’ve talked to in this city have a story about something or someone harassing them. Some have shared stories of rape. I’m trying to be calm. Edmonton has a problem.

Does every city have a problem with harassment and assault? Sure, but I don’t live in every city. And, I’ve never seen it like I’ve seen it in Edmonton.

Stand on Whyte Ave. or Jasper Ave. on a busy night and you will see what I mean. It is sad. Yelling from cars. From bars. Walking along anywhere. Women just trying to get the fuck home. Just trying to go to the grocery story. Just trying to walk their dogs. It’s ridiculous. Men and boys yelling at women. I’ve seen it countless times. I’ve yelled back at the guys. A couple times, in situations, punches were thrown.

If this were my daughter or my wife it probably wouldn’t end there.

I probably would do something incredibly stupid.

I’d probably end up in jail or worse.

I’m not bragging about how tough I think I am or about how macho or any of that. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed for saying this. But, I’m trying to get across a position of frustration.

I could theorize as to why this happens. Entitled men with too much money and booze, ramped up on machismo, thinking that anything that catches their eye is something that is theirs and therefore must be treated as some form of object.

All I can do is make sure that my son respects all the women in his life. I’m very lucky that he has such a strong and intelligent mother as a female role model.

When he is old enough to understand, I will say to him, “Women like men who aren’t loudmouth, entitled pricks. Humans like men who aren’t loudmouth, entitled pricks.”

I don’t know what else to say.

If we had a girl, I’d get into trouble.

*Editor’s Note: We did end up having a girl. She just turned 2.

If you liked this silly gibberish you could buy me a coffee. If you are looking for more ridiculousness you could visit my podcast. If you have any questions, you could leave them in the comments. Or subscribe or not. Or whatever. Good job!

 

4 Responses »

  1. Okay those are all very agreeable things to say, but the title is total clickbait.

  2. What do people expect from redneck Fn pickup driving rig pigs that come into Edmonton on a weekends!?

  3. At first glance I knew exactly what the title was in regards to….The title was great! I’m an expecting father of a baby girl and right now I have 6 nieces, i feel sorry if that person ever has the misfortune of me catching them disrespecting any of the women in my life. Keep up the great writing!

Leave a Reply

@TheUnDad

RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Best of The UnDad Podcast
    Sorta. I lost some episodes. I collected as most as I could. This is a month in the making. Much love to all and more coming regularly. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and […]
  • Santa is the best
    In this edition, I read a short Christmas story I wrote last year for Apocalypse Kow's awesome annual Christmas show. Also, I recorded a performance of myself during Booty Goose's 'Weird Al Karaoke', where one takes a popular song and changes the lyrics. I wrote a filthy version of 'Its Beginning to Look a Lot […]
  • Don't mess with Noreen
    In this episode I talk with Nicola Doherty of the Alberta Mamas (albertamamas.com) about the East Coast, spoon collections, child-sized weaponry, and tattooing dolphins. I'm not kidding. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space and […]
  • Did they make the right choice?
    In this episode I chat with former NHLer and current radio host Jason Strudwick. We cover topics ranging from adoption, hockey, parenthood, poetry, and a hypothetical room full of cocaine. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the […]
  • The Questioneer
    In this episode, Trent answers the many, many questions that his rabid fanbase* sent in to him. Some of them are funny, some sincere, and some are about corn nuts. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the […]
  • No biting
    This bad boy goes off the rails in all the best ways possible. I chat with the hilariously enabling Christine Bruckmann about the new Alberta Museum, legalized marijuana, how much I hate lentils, being a crazy parent, and dealing with hate when blogging. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast […]
  • Julie Rohr Part 2
    In no specific order: Julie and I talk about the 'D' word, journalism, connecting to people you can't connect to, understanding, being brought up religious, giving yourself grace, and even though you have cancer you still have to be a parent. This conclusion of the two-parter is a doozie. This episode is powered by ATB […]
  • Julie Rohr Part 1
    If you don't know who Julie Rohr is you are truly missing out. Currently battling a rare form of cancer, Jules is defined by her infectious smile, her love of life, and her all around resplendent radness. Just listen and find out what I mean. Part 2 coming out next week. This episode is powered […]
  • The good Witch of the true North
    I catch up with Lindsey McNeill about what it is like to be adopted as an adult, how her and her mom are writing a book about the experience, and what it is like to be a screenwriter, producer, witch, and tarot card reader (and then she reads my tarot cards). This episode is powered […]
  • I moved back
    In this episode I catch up with Antonio Bavaro (alter drag ego Connie Lingua) and chat about Montreal, excessive nostalgia, family influence, and his newest endeavour that will spotlight the Edmonton queer and trans community. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the […]

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 42 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: