I put the class in wizard class synthetic user interface

If we had a girl I’d end up in jail


If Elizabeth and I ended up having an awesome little girl, instead of an awesome little boy, I’m pretty sure that eventually I would  have ended up in jail.

Let me explain.

In April of 2014, the CBC reported on a study which stated that Edmonton is the worst place in Canada to be a woman. Citing wages, domestic violence and political representation, it paints a pretty bleak picture of the city I call home. None of these would have been the catalyst to my prior statement though.

Several years ago I read a quote on Facebook (which I will attribute to Kelta Coomber but am not 100% sure) which stated, after a series of sexual attacks on women in the river valley that, “Police want us to get out of the river valley so that we don’t get sexually assaulted, and prefer us to walk down Whyte Ave. where we will be sexually harassed.”

Guts Magazine takes the above story from the CBC  a poignant step further.

I would not be able to handle anything happening to my daughter, or my wife, in such a manner. Would I be able to handle it if something happened to my son? Fuck no, but most sexual harassment and assaults don’t happen against men. I’m playing the odds here people. I’m playing the reality. Most women I’ve talked to in this city have a story about something or someone harassing them. Some have shared stories of rape. I’m trying to be calm. Edmonton has a problem.

Does every city have a problem with harassment and assault? Sure, but I don’t live in every city. And, I’ve never seen it like I’ve seen it in Edmonton.

Stand on Whyte Ave. or Jasper Ave. on a busy night and you will see what I mean. It is sad. Yelling from cars. From bars. Walking along anywhere. Women just trying to get the fuck home. Just trying to go to the grocery story. Just trying to walk their dogs. It’s ridiculous. Men and boys yelling at women. I’ve seen it countless times. I’ve yelled back at the guys. A couple times, in situations, punches were thrown.

If this were my daughter or my wife it probably wouldn’t end there.

I probably would do something incredibly stupid.

I’d probably end up in jail or worse.

I’m not bragging about how tough I think I am or about how macho or any of that. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed for saying this. But, I’m trying to get across a position of frustration.

I could theorize as to why this happens. Entitled men with too much money and booze, ramped up on machismo, thinking that anything that catches their eye is something that is their’s and therefore must be treated as some form of object.

All I can do is make sure that my son respects all the women in his life. I’m very lucky that he has such a strong and intelligent mother as a female role model.

When he is old enough to understand, I will say to him, “Women like men who aren’t loudmouth, entitled pricks. Humans like men who aren’t loudmouth, entitled pricks.”

I don’t know what else to say.

If we had a girl, I’d get into trouble.


4 Responses »

  1. Okay those are all very agreeable things to say, but the title is total clickbait.

  2. What do people expect from redneck Fn pickup driving rig pigs that come into Edmonton on a weekends!?

  3. At first glance I knew exactly what the title was in regards to….The title was great! I’m an expecting father of a baby girl and right now I have 6 nieces, i feel sorry if that person ever has the misfortune of me catching them disrespecting any of the women in my life. Keep up the great writing!

Leave a Reply


RSS The UnDad Podcast

  • Julie Rohr Part 2
    In no specific order: Julie and I talk about the 'D' word, journalism, connecting to people you can't connect to, understanding, being brought up religious, giving yourself grace, and even though you have cancer you still have to be a parent. This conclusion of the two-parter is a doozie. This episode is powered by ATB […]
  • Julie Rohr Part 1
    If you don't know who Julie Rohr is you are truly missing out. Currently battling a rare form of cancer, Jules is defined by her infectious smile, her love of life, and her all around resplendent radness. Just listen and find out what I mean. Part 2 coming out next week. This episode is powered […]
  • The good Witch of the true North
    I catch up with Lindsey McNeill about what it is like to be adopted as an adult, how her and her mom are writing a book about the experience, and what it is like to be a screenwriter, producer, witch, and tarot card reader (and then she reads my tarot cards). This episode is powered […]
  • I moved back
    In this episode I catch up with Antonio Bavaro (alter drag ego Connie Lingua) and chat about Montreal, excessive nostalgia, family influence, and his newest endeavour that will spotlight the Edmonton queer and trans community. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the […]
  • Both of those masters are served
    In this episode I interview Dave Bidini about his new book 'Midnight Light' and all things artistic and important. Stay tuned after the credits for a bonus interview. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the Edmonton Community Foundation for the recording space […]
  • What if people want to bring their own dogs?
    In this episode, I speak with Ainsley Hillyard and Jezebel about sharing the stage, pooping on stage, their sci fi show 'Jezebel, at the Still Point', how to extrapolate your verteron exit vector, and the deep and tangible love that people have for their pets.
  • Know what I mean jelly bean?
    In this one, I talk to myself about the upcoming changes to the UnDad podcast. I talk Metro Shorts, Metro Cinema, Edmonton Comedy Festival, Up Late With Dana Andersen, Dave Bidini, Litfest, Hold the Dark, New Girl, F&M, and these silly things humans call emotions. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the […]
  • It's like nothing else
    Elizabeth Wilkie is not only my mechanic, she is my wife. Join us as we talk about our worries for the future, the past, and the future past. With a special cameo from Little Hell. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast Network. Thank you to Andrew Paul and the […]
  • Thus far in review with producer Andrew Paul
    Having Andrew Paul as a producer is like having a wizard/scientist friend that, no matter how under the influence you are, supports your crazy ideas and helps bring them to life. So, yeah, of course I was going to pick his brain. Jesus. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta Podcast […]
  • Never use it as an excuse
    Mr. Owen Brierley is a delight to talk to. Join us as we chat about what it is like growing up being legally deaf, what a lawnmower parent is, and how everyone should have their own personal version of 'It's All Gone Pete Tong'. This episode is powered by ATB and sponsored by the Alberta […]

Follow The Undad via Email

Enter your email address to follow The Undad and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 42 other subscribers

%d bloggers like this: